Your Kids and SpouseTeenagersTeenagers frequently have the most difficult time when moving. They will have made strong friendships and probably spend most of their free time with their friends and will be very hesitant to move away from this sense of security. Teenagers are going through a difficult time anyway with their bodies physically changing and their emotions in constant turmoil. Teenagers focus on the emotion of moving which to them is basically losing their friends so be gentle with them however hard that might seem at the time. Here are some useful tips to help teens cope: - Explain to them why you are moving and what the benefits are to the family.
- Keep them involved in the move. Ask them to do some research about your new city and report their findings back to you. This will help them feel involved and also make help them look forward to seeing the new city and all the things they have found out about it during the research.
- Make time for your teen. No matter how stressful the move is for you make time for them. Empathize with them so they feel you understand the inner turmoil they are going through.
- Difficult as it may be, encourage your children to say goodbye to their friends, Believe it or not many teens relocate without saying goodbye to friends as they think it will make things worse when in fact this is a very healthy exercise.
- If you have a choice on when to move, work with your teen on when is the best time to move. Some people try to move during the holidays so their children can begin the new term in the new school and not be the new kid on the block, others prefer to move mid term so their children can begin a school routine immediately after the move.
- Encourage your teen to get phone numbers and email addresses of friends and be sure to encourage them to keep in contact with their old friends after you move.
- After you have moved and are somewhat settled in, plan a trip back to your old city or bring some of your teenagers old friends to stay with you for a vacation.
Younger ChildrenDoes age make a difference? Absolutely, yes! In general the younger the children the easier the move is on them. For very young children the home is their entire world. This is really the family and household belongings in the house rather than the actual physical structure of the house. The change in routine may be the most stressful thing with little ones and you will need to reassure them that they are moving with you. Very young children often get upset as they believe they may be left behind so constant reassurance may be needed. Their focus will be on loss of routine and familiar items rather than on loss of friends. Bring them with you to the new home in advance of actually moving in so they can get used to the new house and allow them to pick out their rooms if possible. Here are some useful things you can do to help them become accustomed to the idea of the upcoming move: - Allow them to pack a box of their own even if you need to repack it later for safety reasons.
- Ask them to pick the colors for their new room
- Play act the move with them so they can get an idea of what is about to happen. Toys can be used to help with this activity to make it a little clearer to them.
- Reassure them that they will be moving with you. Little children can be very insecure and this can be seen in times of stress like moving.
For young school going children moving can be difficult. They will have made their friends at school and in the neighborhood and will find it tough to start all over again at a new location. There are some things you can do to help the situation. Check out the new neighborhood for children of their ages. Find out if the school has after-school activities and if there is any orientation available to new students. You can also find out if there is a house of worship in your neighborhood and this is a good place for the entire family to meet like minded people. Here are some useful tips to help young school going children cope: - Keep them involved by assigning some specific duty to them related to the move. It could be to mind the family pet or water the lawn before you leave.
- Get them to pack a bag of their own even if you nee dot repack for safety reasons at a later stage.
- Reassure them that everything will work out well and keep up with that positive attitude. Remember, it’s contagious!
My Spouse Doesn't Want to MoveYou may be in a situation where your spouse may not wish to move. Again, open and honest communication is the key to help you and your partner decide if this is the right decision for your family. Draw up a list of the pros and cons and discuss each and every last one in detail and this may help draw out the reason for the hesitation in moving. When you have discovered the reason you can discuss with each other what can be done to help resolve the issue. It is critical to a successful partnership and marriage that you and your partner have this discussion.Your Hesitation About MovingLast but certainly not least you may be hesitating about the move yourself. This is very common as we second guess our decision to move. Take control of the situation by writing down the different emotions you are feeling and understanding what is behind each emotion. Get to know as much as possible about your new home town as early as possible and this can help to alleviate the fear of moving somewhere you do not know anything about. Find out about clubs or groups you could join before you even move. The internet has a wealth of information and you should tap in to this resource. This will help you feel more in control of the move and you will be better able to cope with your changing emotions and moods. | 
