Although you’re still in the happy daze of your honeymoon, the reality is about to pop your love bubble. When you arrive home, you’re finally moving in together and merging your households for the first time. Since you’ve never lived together before, you’re in for the first challenge of married life which involves compromising as a couple. Rearranging your living arrangements is just the first in a series of lifestyle changes you will experience, so in order to survive with your relationship happily intact, heed these helpful hints about how to move in together after marriage.
Where Will You Live?
Now that you’re back from nuptial celebrations you must decide where to live. If you both came from your parents’ homes or resided with roommates, embarking on house hunting seems intimidating but fun to do. By purchasing or renting your own home together, you’ll pool your resources and opt for the best place. If one or both of you owns or rents your own place already, decide which residence works for you as a couple or if you must find a new one. This involves more compromise and negotiating property sales on top of moving.
Moving Things Along
Once you’ve agreed on where to live, decide how to transport your furniture and other possessions. Should you hire a moving company or persuade your family and friends to moonlight as movers? Before you move, though, sort through what you own separately and consolidate those belongings as best as you can. Some things can go to storage; others may be donated or trashed. Don’t feel shy if you both despise a hideous wedding gift you received – send a lovely thank-you note and pass it on.
Two Becomes One
Even though you already sorted through your belongings, now that you’ve moved in there are bound to be doubles and unnecessary items. As a team, declutter again and decide what stays, what goes, and which pieces go where in your new home. This will be somewhat challenging if one of you is moving into your spouse’s previously established residence and must make more room. Houzz recommends taking photos and measurements before moving in to gauge what will fit and what must go to storage, into an attic or closet, or given away. Be sensitive when viewing your partner’s odd collections or family heirlooms that you dislike, says Houzz, and compromise on whether to display them or not. Remember to work together on meshing your styles together or choosing a décor that makes you both happy.
Time to Talk
If you cannot discuss important issues like finances, splitting up chores, desired level of household maintenance, privacy concerns, personal idiosyncrasies, and daily habits, your marriage will not start out strong and result in future controversies. Disclosing your personal preferences regarding the aforementioned topics will set the tone for the success of your partnership and lead the way to work out solutions to supposedly impossible conundrums.
Getting married and moving in together are very stressful life events even if you’re ecstatic for both to happen. Realize there will be an adjustment period is the most fragile time in your relationship — before life settles into a hopefully happy pattern. Give yourself time to grow and acclimate to each other, recognizing that you each need your space but also time to appreciate each other. Once you realize these things and learn to speak your mind but remain respectful and loving, you’re ready to enjoy married life as you should.